


What's the Matter Here

by jennel



Category: Burn Notice
Genre: Child Abuse, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24431914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennel/pseuds/jennel
Summary: From the Episode Double Booked:Michael: “I joined the military when I was 17. My dad signed a form. He couldn't wait to get me out of the house.”Madeline: “I signed the form. I forged his name. He would never let you go into the military, Michael”Michael “Why?”Madeline: “Because I knew if you didn't leave, you'd end up in jail. Or worse.”Everyone is shaped by their experiences. Michael Westen is no different.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Five

**Author's Note:**

> Please note this story contains depictions of domestic violence and child abuse. It also includes teenagers making out, but nothing graphic. 
> 
> The title comes from the 10000 Maniacs song.

Michael is five when it happens the first time. He’s playing with his toy cars, baby Nate is napping, and his father is yelling at his mother. Then he recognizes the familiar sound of a hand smacking violently against a face. Just another Saturday afternoon. Except maybe not, because that’s usually where it ends but this time it keeps going. He can hear his father getting louder, and his mother sobbing, and he runs to the kitchen to see her down on the floor, and his father kicking her. Without thinking he rushes to her side to help her, only to be met by the back of his father’s hand, and he goes sprawling. Too shocked and afraid to cry, Michael holds his cheek and stares up at his father. It’s the first time he’s turned his fists against his son. It won’t be the last. Michael flees to his bedroom and hides under the covers. His mother turns up a little while later, but if Michael is expecting comfort, he doesn’t get it. “Don’t be upset with Daddy” She tells him. “I shouldn’t make him angry. We can’t make Daddy mad, Mikey.” She says, as though that makes sense. “We just have to be good and help him out and everything will be ok.” That doesn’t seem right somehow, but she is his mother, and good boys do as they’re told. “Yes, Mommy” he says, and she snuggles him close. But for some reason, he doesn’t feel as safe in her arms as he used to.


	2. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that this part of the story takes place in the 1970's. I'd like to think an accusation of child abuse would be handled differently today.

At eight, Michael’s third grade teacher is a nice lady named Miss Samuels. She is young and pretty and Michael might be a little bit in love with her. She is also pretty sharp and within the first few weeks of school she takes notice of the smart, but very quiet, little boy in her class. He has wary eyes, and wears long sleeves in the Miami heat. When he comes to school with a split lip for the second time in two weeks, she begins to form an idea about what might go on in the Westen home. Her idea is confirmed when she is on playground duty during recess. Michael is playing on the monkey bars, hanging upside down when his shirt slips down, and the bruising on his back makes her sick. That afternoon, she asks him to stay after school and sits him down with a juice box. She tells him that children should be protected, that its up the adults in his life to do it. That if he just tells her who hurt him, she’ll make sure that his family gets help. She speaks softly, and smiles encouragingly. She is beautiful and kind, and tells her the truth. He even feels better after. 

Until he gets home from school the next day, and both of his parents are home, waiting for him. His mother cries, as she explains that someone called a social worker came to see her, and was threatening to take Michael and Nate away from them. That his father could go to jail. His father says nothing, just glares at him with a fury that makes Michael more afraid than he’s ever been. “What can I do?” he asks his mother. “How can I fix it?” She explains that all he has to do is tell a little white lie – a bully beat him up for his lunch money – and everything will be ok. When the social worker comes to school to interview him, that’s exactly what he does. He goes even further, and explains that he lied to his teacher about his Dad because he wanted the extra attention. Whether she believes him, or finds it easier to just close the case, he’ll never know. His father celebrates having his file closed by going on an epic bender, and then having a talk with Michael. “You need to learn, boy, that what goes on in my house, stays in my house! Now. Go get my belt and meet me in the garage.” Michael does, without question.


	3. Ten

Michael is 10 the first time he figures out that not all Dads are like his. The Watkins family has moved in down the street, and he spends a lot of time with his new friend, Andre. Michael likes him a lot, so when the boys are playing in the garage and he accidentally spills paint, he goes into panic mode. He tries to clean it up quickly before anyone finds out, but only manages to spread the paint around more. Andre seems confused by Michael’s reaction, and says “Hold on I’ll get my Dad. He’ll know what to do!” Michael stops dead in his tracks, feels the sting of betrayal. His new friend is turning him in. He briefly considers running, but decides it’s better to just get it over with. He’s still afraid – he spends most of his life afraid – but he has nowhere to run. Still, when Mr. Watkins enters the garage to survey the damage, Michael is close to hyperventilating. But Andre’s dad just tells them they’ll need paint thinner to clean it up, gets it for them and explains how to do the job right. He even helps them. Still, when he approaches Michael to shake his hand for a job well done, Michael flinches. He can’t help it. Andre’s dad studies him for a minute. Takes in the faded black eye that Michael is sporting, the hand shaped bruises on both of Michael’s arms. When he speaks, his voice is gentle. “I’m glad to know Andre’s new friend” he says, kindly. “You can spend as much time at our house as you like.” Michael practically lives there that summer. 

Nate becomes friends with Andre’s little brother Ricky, and the Westen boys are always welcome at the Watkins’ home. Mrs. Watkins bakes cookies and takes the boys to church. Mr. Watkins plays basketball with them. He teaches them to fish, camp, and build a fire in the woods. To Michael, its magical. Later that summer, when Andre’s dad finally asks him about why he’s black and blue so much, Michael actually feels a little bit bad about lying, but he knows better than to tell an adult the truth. That same wisdom doesn’t stop him from bragging to Andre when he first steals a car. Andre doesn’t believe him, so Michael shows him how to hot wire. He doesn’t think Andre will try it later on his own, and never dreams he’ll get caught. When Andre gets brought home in a cop car, he tells his parents the truth: Michael’s taught him how to steal a car, and Michael learned from his Dad. After that, Michael and Andre are still friends, but it isn’t quite the same. Andre’s parents watch him like a hawk, and there are no more camping trips or chocolate chip cookies. Michael hangs with Andre, but avoids spending time with his Mr. Watkins, now that he doesn’t like him. Since he’s decided that Michael is a bad influence on his son.


	4. 14 -16

Despite his parents disapproval, Andre continues to hang out with Michael. Michael has learned a number of things from his father that Andre is interested in: how to use a screwdriver to break open a vending machine, how to run a distraction scam in a convenience store, all kinds of things. Andre and Michael work together to expand their repertoire of petty crimes, which culminates in them coming home in handcuffs at 14 when they are caught in a B&E. Andre is terrified of what his parents will say, but by then Michael has learned how to control his fear. 

Worst case scenario is juvenile detention, and Michael figures it might be a nice break from home, except for the fact that he won’t be there to protect his Mom, or his little brother. Because by the time he’s 15, Michael has become pretty effective at that. The trick is to make himself a more convenient target. If Nate is whining or playing too loud, if his Mother burns dinner, if, if, if, if…..Michael can make a smart remark, mutter under his breath, bump up against Frank ‘accidentally’ and the fists will fly his way. It hurts like hell, but somehow less than watching from the sidelines. He’s pretty good at it but it doesn’t always work, and he’s not always there. 

Sometimes Nate is just going to get the business end of his father’s belt. Sometimes his Mother is going to wind up with a black eye. It enrages Michael, to see his mother and little brother cowering. So he takes his anger and uses it to make himself the target of his father’s violence. 

Not that anyone appreciates that. “Why do you have to antagonize him, Michael.” His mother complains as she dabs alcohol on the deep cut under his eye. His father’s well-placed punch had laid him out, flat-faced on kitchen floor, but he’d caught the corner of the countertop on the way down and the bleeding won’t stop. “You have to learn to keep that smart mouth of yours under control.” Somehow, that hurts worse than his face. 

“Yeah, well, Nate forgot to do the dishes, Ma” He says, bitterly. “Next time, I guess I’ll just let Dad go after him…” he has to stop talking, because suddenly he’s afraid he might cry, and he’ll be damned if he’ll let anyone see that. They are silent for awhile as she cleans up his face. Once she gets the bleeding to stop, she finishes with butterfly bandages. “I think that might scar” She says, worriedly. He turns away from her to leave, but she grabs his hand to stop him. “I know you protect your brother.” She says quietly. “I know you protect me, too.”   
He stares at her, for a second. “Someone has to.” He says, bitterly, and pulls free of her. “Michael, I’m sorry…” she starts to say, but he holds up a hand to stop her. He’s heard it before. “Don’t Ma” he says. “Just…don’t.” 

He wakes up the next day with half his face purple and swollen. He contemplates ditching school, again, but decides its easier and safer to be at school than at home. He day dreams through his morning classes, and then meets up with Andre at lunch. “Damn, son” Andre says when Michael approaches. “You look like shit.” The boys laugh, even though they both know its not funny. “Listen, man, what are you doing this weekend?” Andre asks “Because LaTonya has this friend, and I was thinking we could all go out…” Michael rolls his eyes. LaTonya is Andre’s girlfriend. He met her at a Christian youth group and Michael is sure she’s part of Mrs. Watkins plan to keep Andre busy and away from Michael. LaTonya goes to church, and a private school, and is a Very Nice Girl. Michael hates her on principle. “Come on, Mike! You know T’s Mom is really into church! She won’t let us go out alone. But if it’s a double date….” He leaves the sentence hanging.

Michael sighs, and nods. “Yeah, ok, whatever” he says. Worst case scenario, he figures, is he winds up sitting through some chick-flick with “T’s” ugly friend. Only it turns out that T’s friend, Marissa Gonzalez, is anything but ugly. She has long brown hair and warm brown eyes and when she smiles, Michael thinks his heart might stop. None of the kids are old enough to drive, so Mr. Watkins drops them off at the bowling alley, where they find out they are all terrible at it. It doesn’t matter, though, because they spend so much time laughing that they don’t even finish the game. Marissa, as it turns out, is actually a very nice girl. She is also smart and funny, and Michael realizes he really wants to see this girl again. At the end of the night, he walks her to her door under Mr. Watkins’ watchful supervision. “It was really great to meet you” he tells her, meaning it. “You too.” She says. She gets up on her tip toes, and kisses him very lightly on his still-bruised cheek. “Good night, Michael.” She says, and slips into the house. Michael stands frozen in place until Mr. Watkins has to honk the horn to get his attention. 

They officially start dating the next month. This means Michael has to go meet her parents, as if he was nice boy, from a nice family. Her parents both came from Cuba in the 1970’s and they have worked hard for their piece of the American dream. They are funny and welcoming, and even tease him a little bit about being their daughter’s first boyfriend. After a delicious dinner they play a game of monopoly. The warmth and laughter reminds him a little bit of the Watkins family, and for some reason it makes Michael’s chest ache a little. He takes the bus home that night and calls her as soon as he gets there. “They liked you!” she whispers, happy that her parents approve. 

They are at a house party a week later, when Michael kisses her, really kisses her, for the first time. The room is dark, and she’s sitting on his lap, and Michael can’t help it if his hands wander as they make out. That she doesn’t stop him both thrills and scares him. Over the next few weeks, they talk and laugh and spend as much time together as they possibly can. He learns more about her. He finds out that her favorite color is purple, she hates Madonna, loves INXS, and wants to be a veterinarian. He also learns that she’s a great kisser who will let him get to second base, but not third, and that she’ll rest her hand over the crotch of his jeans, but isn’t ready to reach inside. He really, really likes her, and he is careful not to pressure her. For six unbelievable weeks, Michael Westen is as close to carefree as he’s ever been. There’s no way it can last.

And it doesn’t. The issue is his 16th birthday. Birthdays have never been a big deal in the Westen house, and are rarely celebrated. Marissa, however, really wants to do something for his birthday. She also wants to meet his parents. He can’t figure out how to get her to drop it without hurting her feelings, so he and his mother work it out. His father’s monthly poker game with his buddies happens to fall a few days after Michael’s birthday. They can usually count on Frank to disappear for a day or two around his poker game, so they decide to have Marissa over for dinner then, while Frank is passed out somewhere else. Marissa’s Mother drops her off with a home baked cake, and the evening goes even better than Michael had hoped. His mother manages to be funny, and Nate obviously has a crush on Marissa, which she seems to think is cute. They are just cutting the cake she brought when Frank stumbles in the front door. 

“What the hell is going on here?” His father slurs. 

Michael and his mother jump to their feet in the same second. Marissa also stands, and starts to come forward to meet his father. 

His Mom comes flying around the table to Frank. “Oh good, Frank you’re home!” She says in an absurdly cheerful voice, a fake smile plastered on her face. “We’re just doing a little belated birthday celebration for Michael. With his girlfriend.” 

His father’s mouth falls open in an absurd expression of shock. “Girlfriend? What kind of a girl would date this asshole?” He asks, giving Michael a hard shove. Michael is about to turn on him when Nate pipes up.

“Hey Dad!” he says, his voice squeaky with fear, but his face determined. “I finished that model airplane I was working on. It’s in the garage, do you want to come see?” Michael’s heart clenches. After all the times he has stepped in to save Nate, it looks like his brother wants to return the favor. But he won’t let Nate become bait.

Michael steps forward, putting himself between his father and Marissa. He pushes Nate behind him, for good measure. “Dad” he says, quietly. “You’re drunk. Why don’t you go to bed.” 

“You don’t tell me what to do here, boy.” Frank says, pushing Michael again. “Let me meet this girl of yours” He says. Michael is about to shove his father when he hears his girlfriend speak. “Hello Mr. Westen, I’m Marissa.” Her voice trembles a little, but she gives him an approximation of a friendly smile.

Frank leers at her openly, and Michael is trying to decide his next move, when the miracle happens. “Nice to meet you, Michael’s girlfriend.” Frank says, sarcastically. “Can’t imagine what you see in him. I’m going out to the garage.” Frank stomps out with no further incident, and the remaining Westens breathe a sigh of relief. Michael thinks the whole thing could have been much worse until he sees the shell-shocked look on Marissa’s face. She calls her mom to come get her early, and she and Michael wait for her on the front porch. They sit in silence for a long while before she speaks. “That first night that I met you. That bruise you your cheek – that was your Dad.” She says.   
“Yeah”  
“I’m sorry, Michael.” She reaches out to take his hand, and he leans into her. She kisses him and he closes his eyes.   
“It’s OK” he tells her “I’m used to it….”   
“That doesn’t make it OK, Michael.” She says, and he hears pity in her voice. He pulls back and sees it in her eyes. Something twists in his gut at being the object of sympathy. Just then her mother pulls up out front, and Marissa stands up. “Call me OK? She says to him, as he walks her to the car.  
“Sure” He says.   
He doesn’t.


	5. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head as Michael turns 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got a little darker then I intended, but sometimes you gotta go where the story takes you. Warning for domestic violence. Also, please note that this takes place in the mid-80's and I think the cops would handle a domestic violence call differently today then they would have back then.

Things at home keep getting worse, as Frank spends less time working and more time drinking. Michael can’t recall the last time the old man had a real job. He relies on cons and get rich quick schemes to bring in cash, but its hard to pull a scam when you’re falling down drunk. His mother has managed to get a job as a secretary, which is good for keeping food on the table and the lights on in the house, but bad for Frank’s mood. It all comes to head one night when she gets home late from work a week before Michael’s 17th birthday. Michael is cooking dinner, and Frank has been drinking steadily all day.  
“Where the hell have you been!” he roars at her as walks in the door.  
She must have been tired, because Michael can hear a note of defiance in her voice as she answers “I’ve been at work, Frank.” She walks toward the kitchen to help Michael with dinner, but Frank grabs her as she goes past.  
“You think you’re in charge here, now?” Frank screams, spinning her around and slamming her head into the kitchen cupboard. His face is red with rage, spit coming from his mouth. “You would be NOTHING without me! You’re worthless…” His screech is interrupted as Michael’s fist connects with the side of his father’s face. The force of it spins Frank around, and in his shock he lets go of his wife, who scrambles away from him. 

For one moment it’s like time has stopped. Michael sees Nate, on his feet, his eyes wide with fear, and tells him. “Get Mom.” Then he steps in towards his father, and all hell breaks loose. Michael and Frank are fighting, his mother is yelling, and Nate is trying to pull her back from danger. It’s the first time Michael has fought back, and he is shocked by the feeling of power and control it gives him. That feeling is fleeting. Michael is tall, but Frank has about thirty pounds on him, not to mention decades of experience in bar fights. He has thoroughly kicked Michael’s ass by the time the cops arrive for another domestic call at the Westen residence. His father, reeking of alcohol and bleeding from a split lip, explains the ‘misunderstanding’ to the cop while Michael cleans himself up. Nobody asks Michael for his side of the story. The cops issue a warning and tell Frank and Michael, both, to keep their fists to themselves and are gone. 

As soon as they leave, Frank is back in Michael’s face, standing with him toe-to-toe. “You’ve been waiting a long time for that, eh?” Frank asks. Michael says nothing, but forces himself to look his father straight in the eye. “I brought you into this world” his father continues “I sure as hell can take you out. Don’t you forget it.” Michael braces for a blow, but it never comes. Instead his father turns on his heel, grabs the car keys, and stalks out of the house.

After that, things spiral. Frank’s benders become more frequent, and now that Michael is fighting back, more violent. His mother, afraid that he and Frank might really kill each other, has worked out a warning sign with Michael. He calls before he comes home, and if she says “come home right now” he…doesn’t. The system works well, except that it means he spends less and less time at home. He and Andre have left petty crime behind, and have moved onto bigger prospects. Property crimes, mostly, but never close to home. They’ll steal a car in their neighborhood, and use it to drive up to one of the better Miami suburbs for a B&E, then hook up with a fence to sell the score. Michael doesn’t feel great about stealing, but he’s been around grift his entire life, and he gets over it. Andre thrives on it, seems bent on becoming a gangster. 

Michael can admit that he sees the allure: for the first time in his life, he has a steady income. He gives most of it to his mother, who is happy to pretend he has a part-time job, the rest he squirrels away. When the leader of a local car theft ring, a bad dude called Oscar, approaches them to join his crew, Andre and Michael enter the big time. They start stealing luxury vehicles and delivering them to chop shops. The money is even better than before, but there is more than money to the lifestyle. By now, Michael and Andre have left the Very Nice Girls behind, in favor of a walk on the wild side. Michael starts dating a girl who calls herself Angel, another member of Oscar’s crew. She is older than he is, and very hot, and she does things to him that blow his mind. It’s not love, but it is fun, and Michael figures he’d better enjoy life while he can. 

As usual, the good times don’t last, and this time, when the chips start to fall, they fall fast. Andre gets picked up by the cops dropping a stolen Mercedes-Benz 560 SEL at a chop shop. It isn’t his fault – the cops had the place under surveillance – but it does mean that he is probably going to jail. Andre has dropped out of school by now, officially, but for some reason Michael wants to finish. He knows exactly how many days of school he can miss in his senior year and still graduate, and has it planned down to the wire. He’s always been too smart for his own good, and he can skate by with the minimum GPA to graduate without much effort. It’s why he’s at school that day, instead of working the job with Andre.

Unfortunately for him, Mrs. Watkins has called his Mom to tell her of Andre’s arrest. This time, when Michael calls to see if the coast is clear, his Mother doesn’t warn him off. He walks into the house to find his father waiting for him. 

“Where you been, boy?” his father asks him. Michael has managed to avoid his Dad for almost two weeks this time. It’s pretty much a record, so he should have seen this coming. His mother is standing by, nervously smoking her way through a pack of cigarettes.

“School.” He says, warily. 

“I hear your car thief buddy got arrested.” His father says with a mean chuckle. “Sorta surprised you weren’t with him.”

He walks toward Michael, who tenses and adjusts his weight to his back foot, ready to spring forward. What happens next floors him. 

His father puts his arm around him and practically crows. “Shoulda known my boy wouldn’t get caught! I guess I taught you something after all, eh.” Michael looks at his mother in alarm. She is wide eyed and silent. 

“So what’s the scam?” His Dad asks. “You set him up?”

“No!” Michael says, angrily “I was at school, it was just bad luck…”

His father is looking at him with a strange look on his face, and it takes Michael a few minutes to figure out what it is. 

Pride.

His father is proud of him.

Michael feels sick to his stomach.

And then Frank twists the knife. “You’re just like the old man!” he says. “You’ll always find a way to get what you want!” Michael has literally never seen him so happy. 

His father is elated and proud because he’s figured out that Michael is a criminal, and that he’s getting away with it. Michael reacts without thinking, twisting away from his father’s arm and then rounding on him.

“I am nothing like you!” he says, filling with anger as his father’s words sink in. “I will never be anything like you!” but he punctuates his words with a right hook. It’s the first time he’s ever thrown the first punch, the first time he isn’t protecting his Mom or Nate. Even in his fury, the irony isn’t lost on him. 

Of course, his old man swings back and the fight that follows is only remarkable because Michael takes him down in the end. Another first. This time it’s his Dad whose bleeding on the floor and his Mother is pulling Michael off and screaming at him to calm down. But it isn’t his Mom that stops him.

It’s Nate. He’s gotten home from school during the melee, and through the buzzing static of his rage, Michael hears his little brother. “Mike!” he yells. “Mike, stop!” 

And when Michael looks up and sees him, the anger just runs out of him, replaced instantly by regret. It’s the opening his Dad needs. He’s on his feet in a second, and shoving Michael towards the door. “Get outta my house, you little punk!” he screams. Michael takes off running. 

He stays gone for three days before he calls home. “It’s safe, Michael.” His mother says.  
“For real, this time?” He asks.  
“He left right after you did.” She replies. 

Still, he checks the garage to make sure the Charger is gone before entering through the back door. His Mother is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking ice tea and smoking.

“Hey, Ma.” He greets her. She looks up and gives him a tired smile, but says nothing. “I need to get something from my room.” He explains. He retrieves an envelope full of cash from a shoe box at the top of his closet. It’s the spoils of six months of car theft. He takes out fifty bucks, and puts it in his wallet. He takes the rest to her.  
“Here, Ma. This is for you and Nate.” He hands her the envelope, and her eyes get big. Her hands start to shake a little.  
“This from stealing cars?” She accuses him. Even she can’t pretend he earned $5000 bagging groceries after school.  
“What do you think, Ma?” He asks. He’d be mad at her, except he’s too tired and too heart sick to muster it. He gives her a searching look. He loves his mother. He knows that, despite what his father says, she isn’t stupid. 

So he asks the question that has been burning through his brain for years.

“Why didn’t you leave him?” He asks, quietly. “You still could.” It’s a plea. 

“He’s my husband, Michael.” She says, icily. “He’s your father. Families should stick together!” He knows that’s not the truth. He knows the truth is that she’s scared, and that maybe she believes the things his father says to her, believes that they would never make it without him. 

He shakes his head. “I gotta go, Ma.” He says. “I can’t stay here. It’s not good for me.”

She surprises him. “I know.” She says. “Where are you thinking?”

He pulls out some papers that he has in his back pocket. They are folded and wrinkled, but they’ll do. “These are enlistment papers. For the Army.” He watches as she lights another cigarette, chain smoking off the old one. “I’m 17, so you and Dad will have to sign.”

She nods. “I’ll take care of it.” She says. It’s the best she can do for him.

“Thanks Mom.” He says, and walks out the back door.


End file.
